Saturday, September 25, 2010

Starting Over or Just Starting

Wow, have not written anything for quite some time. Not sure how to start.
I guess the best way is to say that I am sailing uncharted waters. This obscure writing is somewhat a type of therapy for me. I am fifty eight years old, feel like I am much younger, yet physically and mentally cannot deny my age. I know that sounds contradictory, but to look at me one would know that I am well past my forties, and the stuff I know and think about are things of the past. Make sense? Probably not, but as I said this is more of a theraputical writing just to make me feel better.
After thirty eight years of marriage I decided that I no longer wanted to be married and tied to the feelings and limitations of another person, that being my wife of course. She is not a bad person, she is who she is. It is just that living my life according to the desires and expectations of another person is more than I want to do. I have been someone other than myself for many years and what I want is to be me. Doing so would make her life miserable, and we would not be happy. Happiness in one's life is so important to me. I am not yet sure if I will ever be truly happy, but I do know that staying married is something I cannot do. I have some good years left, albeit I will more than likely not find the person I have created in my mind.
I remember the romance, the electric sensation of just holding hands, or sitting close. The pleasure of just a hug, the anticipation of a smile, the smile that says don't ever leave me! Why does that all go away. I think I am a hopeless romantic. Sex is even a part of it. Not all encompassing, but it is a part of it. When that goes away, the rest of your feelings follow.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

About Aging

Aging is something I think about now and then. I don't dwell on the subject but there are times when my mind wanders to it along with various other things as I sit and enjoy the alone time that I get at night. Alone time, that is something I find that I enjoy more as I get older. Not sure if that means anything in particular but I find it takes the edge off of living in today's world.
I believe that as people age they change, as a natural process. Call it growing up or whatever, but they do change. Some become cranky, cynical, boring or the opposite,happier, more outgoing, full of life. Personally, I think that aging can make you better, not like wine as the old saying goes, but more in tune with yourself if you think about it. There comes a time when you should be at ease with who you are. You should be able to enjoy what you have learned, take advantage of just being. Maturity hits people at many different ages. It is not a bad thing, just makes you unique.
As I have aged I have come to the realization that most of the people you know are probably just aquaintances. I don't mean this in a bad way, but when you get down to it the people you really care for, the ones that matter most are a small group of people. Thinking about the people that I would go to the wall for I cannot come up with a very big number. Does this mean I don't have friends? Not necessarily, just that maybe "friends" has taken on a new meaning for me. For example, I see some people on Facebook have 300+ "friends". Really? I know that is not a very good example because you have to call them something on Facebook. My point is, I think most people would be surprised by the number of people they could actually count on.
I have gotten off track a little here with my original thought process. As I age, I don't feel older or out of touch. I find that I want to do more things, experience new things and even revisit stuff I used to do. About a year ago, I decided that it was ok for me to have a glass of wine now and then. When I was 29 years old I quit drinking all alcoholic beverages due to the fact that I was just out of control. Drank beer every chance I got and got drunk a lot! So, I went into treatment "admitting" I was an alcoholic and went through the twelve step process of quitting. Not really sure if I am an alcoholic, but I know one thing now that I did not know then. I don't have to get drunk. Nice feeling that I can have a glass or two of wine and not feel guilty or ashamed. Back in the day, I did feel shame and guilt because I knew that I was wrong, just did not care at that point, mostly because I was immature and had some pocket change to spare. I care now, I like being in charge of myself, knowing that maybe I just needed to grow up.
There are those that will not like it when you change, not realizing they have changed too. I guess that is the tough part. Some of your friends are happy with the "old you" and want you to stay that way. That is when you have to decide what is important. That is when you have to say that you are going to live for yourself and not for others. Selfish? I don't think so. Life is, in reality a fairly short time for humans. To not enjoy it, to not be who you are, would be such a waste.
So, I guess the big question is how to make people not mistake your evolving personality for something else. I think this is especially true for men. Typically we end up frustrated and express ourselves with moodiness or anger. I find the whole process very hard, frustrating, and sometimes depressing. Being married, where you have another's feelings to consider is like being torn in half. Your spouse may be perfectly happy and content with life as it is, while you, man or woman, have changed, and starting to feel like life is passing you by.
Some people would just pooh, pooh this away as "going through your second childhood". Not at all. If you think this I believe you are just fooling yourself. If you are married, it can be a monumental task to come to a consensus with one's partner on how to continue. I am not advocating divorce, but I believe that as people change the bonds of marriage should not become a constraint on a persons life. Life is as we all know short, it should be lived as fully as a person wants to take it. There is a saying that life should be lived like there is no tomorrow...there is more to it than that but you get the idea. To me this means doing what you enjoy, being with people you love, and being the free person you were born to be. I fully intend to take advantage of the rest of my life. If anyone finds this crazy or selfish, sorry, I don't answer to anyone but God and He will let me know if I am wrong. And if I lose "friends" along the way, well, you probably were not one anyway.

Marriage....Not for the Weak

Marriage is as old as time itself. It is based on love and the desire for a man and a woman to become a union, bear children (or not) and live happily ever after. Most couples are young, in their twenties when this desire becomes overwhelming. They have met their soulmate. They want to be together forever.
That said, each is either consciously or subconsciously willing to give up some part of themselves to make that happen. I believe in most cases this is done without consideration of one big factor. It is the fact that through the natural process of life, people change. Some change to a lesser degree than others, but the change does take place as you grow older and mature. Maturity itself is so different in each individual that a person's whole personality may be quite different ten years down the road. This can mean that the person you married is no longer defined by the things that attracted you in the first place.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Smarter Than I Thought

Wow, it is nice to find out that I am a little smarter than I give myself credit for. After reading a few blogs, columns, and articles by known writers such as Ann Coulter, Neil Boortz, Glenn Beck, etc. I find that they are writing about stuff I have known for years. Stuff I have been screaming about. It is not rocket science that a free market with "competition" will take care of a lot of insurance woes. Get the government to relax its ridiculous rules about interstate sales of insurance and you are going to find a whole new pricing game in regard to insurance. To me, it is so simple. Get the government out of our daily business and life is so much better. I just don't get it.

Of course, getting government out of the daily life of Joe Public will diminish the "power" of the current rodents in Washington D.C. That would be contrary to their plan to run everything and take care of everyone. To that, I would say we really need to clean house on election day and get them out of Washington.

I found it very interesting today as I walked the Iowa State Fair exhibitors hall, that the Republican booth was being swarmed with people wanting to put their names on petitions for Marriage (you know, the one between opposite sexes), Stopping government control of healthcare, supporting the 2nd Ammendment, and one for Life (that's the one where we don't allow or pay for abortions on demand). Four in all and people were waiting in line!!! That gave me hope as I looked across the isle to where the Democrats booth was. They were stopping people to try to give away their propaganda supporting the vile bandits now holding office.
I do have to say though, that I don't really care that one is labeled Repulican and one is labeled Democrat. The booth that had the petitions could have been labeled "Generic" and I would have stood in their line, because it is about right and wrong, not partisanship.

So much of what is going on in this country IS about right and wrong. I don't want to plaegerize Glenn Beck, but Common Sense is what this country needs. It is sorely lacking in a lot of people it seems. Apathy is rampant, and some people just don't give a damn until it directly affects them in some way. (like losing their freedom)

I get tired of talking about this stuff, about the lack of understanding what our nation is founded on, the Constitution, being a Christian nation. Those are our roots and we have forgotten. We can still be a "melting pot" for immigrants, we can still be helpful to the less fortunate, we can give aid to third world countries without giving up who we are. It is so sad that a national disaster has to happen to remind us of what a great nation this country is. Guess that is what keeps me going, the knowledge that there are a lot of us who care, who love freedom, and understand the sacrifices those before us have made. God Bless them, and this country.

We, the people, need to speak loud and clear when we vote. We need to find out who we are voting for and what they will do to make things right again in America.
At all costs we need to stop what is happening now, and I see it in the people. They are waking up and saying this is not what we bargained for! We just need to keep the momentum going and on election day let them have it at the polls.
Keep up the good fight. The fight for what is RIGHT! God Bless America.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Holding On

First I would like to say that I wish I could write about something other than the political scene. It wears one out to listen to everything that is going WRONG! I am sure there are those that believe everything is going as planned in our great nation. I have no time for those people. I don't want to hear their side, don't want to hear their arguements, don't want them to explain global warming, healthcare, or anything else to me. I am sick of the bullshit to be frank. I guess I am not educated enough to "get" what their agenda really is, but I do know that what is happening is not for the good of the people. Really, anyone with the ability to form a thought cannot believe that the American people are being FAIRLY represented. Washington politicians, and I mean both parties, continually do what they see fit and to hell with the rest of the nation. People are rallying, screaming for them to stop the insanity, and they chalk it up to fringe groups, people of little consequence. I write to my "representatives" and get back canned responses that mean nothing. Mainly doublespeak on how they are trying to "look out" for their constituents. Bull! I have written about global warming, healthcare, corruption in the government, Cap and Trade, etc., and people read about it every day. Nothing new except the constant flood of propaganda and pork laden bills being pushed through congress. It is indeed a sad time for this nation. I am not sure why I blog about this stuff, guess it makes me feel somewhat better although I have no followers to speak of. I only hope that sometimes people stumble across this blog and know that their are others, many of us, who are fed up with the atrocities being inflicted on the American people.

In closing I would just like to say that I still believe we are a Christian nation with faith in God. We, and I mean the majority, are attacked again and again by minority groups that wish to be more than they are. We know right from wrong. We are proud to be Americans and will fight to keep our country great, guided by the Constitution that our leaders see fit to ignore. Shame on them.


So I am holding on, praying for us to be heard, and praying to God to look out for us in the meantime.

Monday, July 20, 2009

The Dumbass Nation

As my title suggests, there is a large group of Dumbasses in America. They have proved it over and over again. Whether it is something in the water or just evolution the group seems to be growing and thriving to the amazement of me!

I am not claiming to be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but then, I think I have a good handle on the difference between right and wrong. Pretty simple concept.

As far as I can remember this group made itself known, at least as far as my awareness, about the time I graduated back in 1970. They said that we could no longer have a prayer or benediction at our graduation ceremony. Some small individual, or group of them, decided that it offended their non-belief in Christianity. I am sure there was a lot of hand wringing and discussion, and in the end the Dumbasses caved and said ok. The minority won, no prayer.

Through the years since, the Dumbasses have consistently bowed to minorities of all kinds. From being afraid to give a well deserved smack on the butt to your kids to not being able to say Merry Christmas in public.

The Dumbass Group has evolved into humanlike form minus the all important part of the skeletal system called a "spine". You see, the spine is very important. That is the part that you make rigid when some flaky minority tries to change what is right and make their beliefs the law of the land. Dumbasses don't have this part of the anatomy. It has been replaced with some noodle-like fixture that bends with every confrontation that presents itself. The little minorities know this, and have become firmly entrenched in our society.

Did you ever think that we as a people would give up our national foundation of being Christians? We did just that, at least the large group of Dumbasses did. Got to watch what you say, where you say it in regard to religion.

The Dumbasses even think that a marriage can be between same sex individuals. Again, a small minority, but they won. Forget the fact that no matter how they "do" it, men on men, and women on women cannot produce offspring. It is a fact of nature, and the whole concept itself is unnatural. Yet the Dumbasses being what they are, caved once again and said that such a marriage is a good thing to allow.

Before I go further, I should mention that I am not picking on a particular group of people or politicians. Just the Dumbasses. They live on all sides of the political spectrum. They get elected by the ever growing population of Dumbass supporters. This of course, makes the voters Dumbasses too.

Now one of my favorites. Immigration or lack there of as it should be done. We have laws on the books that clearly, and I mean clearly say that no person can immigrate to the United States without going through our "strict" immigration policy. What a joke the Dumbasses have made of this. You are more likely to get in trouble with the law for smoking in the open air at a rest stop than if you are an illegal immigrant driving through the country. I am not sure how we got to the point we are at with allowing this to go on every day. Dumbasses want to be compassionate, give them shelter, government benefits, and of course, free healthcare. If you are not a Dumbass you know that the benefits these people are getting are paid for by Americans. You know, citizens!

How about financial institutions, businesses, etc. that make bad decisions, get greedy and go bankrupt. Right or wrong. One word answer required for the question "Should the people of the United States have to pay for their mistakes? If you are a Dumbass your noodle is already bending. If decisions were made on the basis of right or wrong, this country would still be strong and proud.

The list of things that the Dumbasses do is a very long one and I do not have the stamina to go on and on with all of it. Just trying to hit the high points. (or low depending on your perspective)

The Dumbasses think that we can change the Arab nation. Make them democratic, Western culture loving people. Don't have to be a Harvard grad to see the reality of this joke. They will continue to hate us, want to kill us, as long as we have our brave soldiers on their soil. I don't think I am a Dumbass, so I know that we have to take a stand on nuclear proliferation, but we cannot and have no right to try and change their culture. We need to bring our troops home where they belong and quit trying to be the world cop.

I would not be me if I left out my favorite Dumbass fallacy. Global warming is caused by man and his excessive release of CO2 into the atmosphere. No matter how many facts, studies, and actual temperature variances that are presented, the Dumbasses maintain that it is our fault. They believe that we can change nature. I think Al Gore and his followers have read far too many comic books. Until it is a proven "fact", the money spent and wasted on this hoax could be better spent on developing a more plentiful and cheaper fuel. Of course, the Dumbasses would not get their hands in the money bag then, so they continue to preach their unfounded crap to the people. In other words, recruiting people into the Dumbass Nation.

As I mentioned, there are far too many things to list. All one really has to do is ask themselves "Is this right or wrong?" If it sounds too simplistic you may be on your way to becoming a Dumbass. Think harder, should minorities rule? (not talking race here for you Dumbasses) Most people have a natural ability to know if something is right or wrong. (at least a gut feeling) I think the biggest mistake that the Dumbasses make is thinking we are all like them and that they can infect us. Wrong. I think there is an ever growing number of people that are becoming immune to what is being forced upon us. I certainly hope I am right. I pray that when voting day comes the majority finally speaks and votes the DUMBASSES out!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Passing of A Patriot...An American Soldier

Today a man was laid to rest in a small town in Illinois. Not a lot of fanfare, but with military honors.
A small group of mourners gathered around the funeral tent to honor his passing, family and friends. As I stood and watched the honor guard salute this man, fire rifles over his body, carefully fold the flag that draped his coffin and present it to his daughters, I was moved in a way that I had never experienced before. It made me ashamed of myself that initially I did not really want to be there. I admit this, because it is the truth, and because I am sincerely sorry!

How could I not be there? Here was a man, ninety-one years old, who had served his country during one of the most horrific wars this nation has been involved in. He never spoke of it to my knowledge, like many of our veterans. They enlisted and did their duty, served their country and came home to help build the great nation we are today.

The old men that formed the honor guard, all veterans themselves, solemnly and reverently paid tribute to another fallen brother. It was obvious that the ceremony was not just a "job" they had to do, it was something they cared about. After all these years still committed to honoring a brother in arms. Would it not have been rude to the family to leave the gravesite, I felt compelled to shake the hand of each one of them. To thank them for what they do and what they have done. Unfortunately, they were gone before the service ended, so I would like to thank them here, let them know that they too, are appreciated.

The man I speak of was an ordinary guy, folksy and friendly, and obviously loved by those who knew him. Some would say that he did not leave a mark on this world, that he was just another old guy that had lived out his life in a small town in Illinois. There are many like him. We should be ashamed if we forget any of them. I did not know it until today, but he touched me, and I will remember him for as long as I live. He was more than I ever gave him credit for and I am thankful that I could be there to honor him today. Good bye Uncle Don, we will never forget you, and how "ordinary" should never be used to describe you.

Donald Plym 1918-2009